Episode: 133

How to Set Better Boundaries With Ourselves

with Lola Pickett

As HSPs or empaths, being so connected to everyone and everything makes it hard to connect to ourselves and our own needs. But to be able to follow our calling as sensitive souls, we really need to set better boundaries with ourselves.

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Show Notes

Did you know that the biggest violator of your boundaries is actually yourself? As HSPs or empaths, being so connected to everyone and everything makes it hard to connect to ourselves and our own needs. But to be able to follow our calling as sensitive souls, we really need to set better boundaries with ourselves.

For HSPs and empaths, setting healthy boundaries is usually challenging. It is difficult for us to understand that most people are not capable of feeling what our needs and expectations are (because we CAN feel what theirs are, right?) and that we need to express these things through verbal communication (no, people usually don’t read minds, body language, energy and vibes like we do!). So we blame this insensitive world for breaking our boundaries over and over again.

But even though the world can be really mean sometimes and there are some people who take advantage of our sensitivity, the truth is that we are responsible for our lack of solid and healthy boundaries. The first thing we need to look into when it comes to these issues is: do we have solid boundaries with ourselves?

As highly sensitive souls we know that self-care is very important. Keeping ourselves safe and healthy, making sure we do not get overstimulated or overwhelmed are some of the things we need to really pay attention to in order to function at our highest potential. But an essential form of self-care (which actually underlies all of the above) is setting healthy boundaries with ourselves.

Boundaries help you create a safe space for yourself in your own life, and if you want to be able to establish healthy limits in your relationships you need to start with the most important one: the relationship with yourself. And this is tricky and challenging for a highly sensitive soul.

Most of us have been taught that we’re worthless, we’ve been taught that we need to toughen up, that we’re too sensitive, that we don’t have what it takes, that we don’t matter, that our voice is never going to be heard, that we’re going to be invisible. And growing up with these kinds of messages created a belief system that makes us think we are not good enough. So, the relationship with ourselves is the last one we think about.

Putting off things that we want to do for ourselves while our calendar is overloaded with other people’s needs, letting our past dictate our future, or perceiving our limiting beliefs as facts are some of the signs that we might have troubles with the boundaries with ourselves.

Want to find out more about these patterns and what to do to set better boundaries with yourself?

In this week’s episode, Lola dives deep into what boundaries with ourselves are, who are the people who have the biggest issue with our boundaries, why lack of boundaries with ourselves attract narcissists to HSPs and why setting boundaries with ourselves is so difficult sometimes. More than that, she reveals what are the most important signs that we are having trouble setting boundaries with ourselves and some effective strategies to help us establish solid and healthy limits with ourselves and the world around us.

TOPICS COVERED

  • The biggest violator of your boundaries is yourself
  • Why setting boundaries with ourselves is difficult for HSPs and empaths
  • Boundaries help you create a safe space for yourself in your own life
  • Who are the people who have the biggest issue with your boundaries
  • Why lack of boundaries with ourselves attract narcissists to HSPs
  • Signs that we are having trouble setting boundaries with ourselves
    • Sign no. #1: Overcommitment
    • Sign no. #2: Putting off your own stuff to later
    • Sign no. #3: Letting our past dictate our future
    • Sign no. #5: Toxic positivity
    • Sign no. #4: Perceiving your beliefs as facts
  • How to set better boundaries with ourselves
    • Step no. #1: Awareness
    • Step no. #2: Question your beliefs
    • Step no. #3: Start looking at your commitments
    • Step no. #4: Integrity
How to Set Better Boundaries With Ourselves with Lola Pickett
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