Episode: 132

How The "Cool Kids" Are Secretly People-Pleasing

with Lola Pickett

Are you an HSP who plays this role of a cool, “go with the flow” person? Is this person really you, or are you secretly people-pleasing?

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Show Notes

It is pretty common for an HSP or an empath to go from being the uncool, “too sensitive” kid to becoming that cool, fun and detached person who is so easy to get along with, is friends with everyone, and seems to have it all. These are all signs that you may be secretly people-pleasing.

How does this happen? Well, it’s no secret that being a sensitive child or teenager can be really difficult and quite painful sometimes. When all the other kids call us “crybabies” (and maybe bully us because of that), when the adults advise us to “toughen up” when we are told we are “too sensitive” and we “shouldn’t care that much”, what can we do?

A common way to cope with that, a way to protect ourselves from all this pain that “caring too much” seems to bring with it, is trying to reduce how much we care by tuning out, numbing out, and chilling out. In one word: by becoming the “cool kids”.

For an HSP or an empath, acting cool is actually a form of protection from being rejected by others, a way to easily become friends with everyone, a pattern of people-pleasing.

Are you an HSP who plays this role of a cool, “go with the flow” person? And is this person really you? Does this “cool kid” feel like yourself deep inside? Or is it just a mask that protects you from feeling “too much,” from being “too sensitive,” and from being that uncool kid who is still silently hurting?

Being “cool” means being cold and you, as a highly sensitive soul, are anything but cold. No matter how much you pretend you are made of ice, you have a WARM soul that was sent in this world to shine.

And yes, there is a way to be uncool, to be WARM, to be yourself, and also feel happy. There is a way to stop being a people pleaser and start leaving the MAGIC life you were created for.

In this week’s episode, Lola shares her own experience as an empath who used to be a “cool girl” and the lessons she learned from this experience. She also explains why HSPs numb out their feelings and emotions, how trying to “go with the flow” can lead to depression, and why being warm is healthier for an HSP than being cool. Plus, she helps you identify what type of empath you are in order to stop secretly people-pleasing and start your people-pleasing recovery.

TOPICS COVERED

  • What being cool might have to do with people-pleasing
  • “Gone Girl” and what being a “cool girl” means
  • What is a people pleaser
  • Lola’s experience as an empath who used to be a “cool girl”
  • Manipulating reality and the people around you by acting cool
  • Why being cool means being cold
  • Why sensitive people may numb out their feeling and emotions
  • How trying to be “go with the flow” can lead to depression
  • Why you need to start aiming to be uncool
  • Why being warm is healthier for an HSP than being cool
  • Discover what type of empath you are to be able to start your people-pleasing recovery
How The "Cool Kids" Are Secretly People-Pleasing with Lola Pickett
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